Wednesday 5 March 2014

The cold envelops my frail body, unaware of its petrified state of sadness. An overwhelming sense of doom and desperation hits me hard, with no solution in the horizon. I want to disappear completely, worry about nothing, lead a simple (too simple) life, or none at all. End is what I wish for my awful presence in this world. Relief, I want to grasp you dearly, old friend, never have we met before. 

Monday 3 March 2014

Please stop talking about the Oscars ceremony, it was yesterday, it's over. Also, what is all this hype about Jennifer Lawrence? She isn't a good actress, and her film, Silver Linings Playbook is very overrated. She isn't awkward because she wants to eat pizza and trips in public. Please stop.

Carnival (Oh, what nonsense!)

The sheer bliss of staying at home in the evening, drinking tea, listening to music and reading. The thought of being among my friends in town until the early hours of the morning, in the wintry air, cavorting like inebriated idiots to songs that make my ears bleed, is nothing short of nauseating and vile.

What a pathetic excuse to get completely drunk in public, and do things you would never do in your right mind. It's actually quite astounding how people can spend the whole year thinking and daydreaming about a week of drunken encounters and folly! I really can't understand it, which, to my friends, is a "shame". Fuck off and let me watch Tarantino movies.

The numbness of lack of sleep

I am completely aware that not sleeping is poor for one's health, nonetheless, at times I grab on to the soothing, yet unsettling numbness that comes from not having had any sleep during the night. 

Here's what happened last time I experienced this:

One night I decided I would skip the sleeping that I am too familiar with, and just listen to music the whole night, and talk to a dear friend of mine, that too stays up late, yet he didn't have school the next morning, unlike me. I saw time going past me like a smug fucker, portraying himself in my alarm clock: 4:15, 5:05, 7:20 - the red digits glared at me, as if they knew I should be asleep, yet I ignored their silent warning, and just listened to My Bloody Valentine and The Horrors.


I felt particularly calm when the time came for me to get out of bed and walk to school. As the wind hit my cheek softly, I started to really feel the numb feeling washing through my body. It was calmly exciting, and I started to question a lot more than normal, my existence being one of them. I felt nothing, as I trod the school corridors. I looked into nothing during classes, wanting nothing, except to not think about anything that was.

There is something quite appealing to this state. Everything could be crashing and burning around me, and nothing I would feel. What an attractive thought.
I made this blog to write whatever I want. Here's a cute pic of my favourite member of my favourite band, Joshua Hayward from The Horrors:






















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